Why Learning to Receive Is As Important as Giving

IMG_2113 We have been taught that it is better to give than receive, but a master of one’s energy must learn to do both. During the holiday season we get a lot of practice at this, and you might consider this a quick review before the pop quiz of having relatives around.

In the United States and many parts of the world the expression of masculine energy is rewarded. We are task masters who do and accomplish or else see ourselves as failures. We wear our bodies and minds out, and it is good to remind ourselves of the following:

  • It is okay/safe to receive
  • It is enjoyable to receive
  • It is worthwhile to cultivate the ability to receive

The affirmations above are true socially, sexually, and professionally, and a commitment to opening one’s heart is a good way to start. This does not mean you must embrace or practice excessive amounts of tenderness. It does not mean “<3” after your Facebook status or comments. It means learning where you are armored, and consciously removing that armor as you become aware. This is a process.

IMG_1846A simple example of armoring in the female world comes from excessive menstrual cramps. In this situation you are armored by pain. That armor stays after the pain goes away. We recall it, its effects, and fear it coming back. In how many other situations does this apply?

If you’ve ever been dirt poor, you recall it, its effects, and you fear it coming back.

You don’t have to look far in your circle to find someone who is undergoing cancer treatment, and we engage this culturally in an interesting way. Ask yourself whether this resonates, because I have not personally undergone treatment. When someone we know gets cancer, we unintentionally enter them into a tug of war between masculine and feminine energies also known as giving and receiving. National campaigns engage the masculine and make those undergoing treatment into warriors, endurance champions, and survivors who have given their all and won. On the other hand, while you’re supporting someone having chemo or recovering from surgery, we ask them to engage their feminine. For Pete’s sake, let me do that for you. You have to learn to let people help you. You have to learn to receive my masculine energy that wants to bring you a casserole!

You may be very good at engaging your feminine energy sexually but not socially. You may have trouble with your mom wanting to nurture her adult child, or your dad not giving you respect earned by an adult.  Any number of family cocktails can occur.  So let’s toast them this year but engage in balancing practices that can help. Note to self: Fourteen Christmas cookies and Malbec is not the best balancing tool.

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